


Take Me Higher

by 64907



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bondage, Come Eating, Explicit Sexual Content, Filming, Gags, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Orgasm Control, Overstimulation, Porn Video, Safe Sane and Consensual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 06:48:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7564318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/64907/pseuds/64907
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What Jun posts on his channel isn’t exactly revolutionary, but there’s something with his execution and delivery that makes people call it art and come to him voluntarily. Then Jun meets one who just keeps coming back, and he finds himself in a situation that has him starting to question his own rules.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take Me Higher

**Author's Note:**

> Can't believe this is my second "Jun/everyone" AU. The pairings in order of appearance: Jun/Toma, Jun/Aiba, Jun/Nino, Jun/Ohno, and Jun/Sho (main).
> 
> This was inspired by a porn video I originally watched for reference, but it turned out to be a true art that I had to give it its own AU.
> 
> Huge thanks to Angel who supported this as always, and to [inaudible_d](http://archiveofourown.org/users/inaudible_d/pseuds/inaudible_d), to whom I sent the video (and pretty much went !!!!!!! with me) and for helping me refine this. You're both awesome. Edger!Jun wouldn't be here without you.
> 
> Also thanking We Wanna Funk, We Need A Funk for the title, the A+ lines of “What service can I do for you?”, “Keep it real, secret deal,” and the inspo for Jun’s username. That is perhaps this fic’s theme song.

There is something alluring about seeing men in states of distress.  
  
That’s Jun’s secondary reason why he does this when he has the time. His desire for control is a major constituent of his personality—it’s inherent. Over the years he’s had to study things that aren’t part of his daytime job, but doing so contributes to the improvement of the quality he strives for. He finds himself enjoying that process too.  
  
The primary reason why he does what he does: he likes it when people can admit what they want and can ask for it.  
  
Jun doesn’t drag it out for his own sake. He does it for those who come willingly to him, telling him that they need this, that they want this to be done to them. He feels honored to be trusted with such a privilege. He wants to not disappoint.  
  
That aspect naturally translates into what he ends up producing.  
  
Matsumoto Jun is an accountant in the morning until the early evening, depending on the rate of incoming data for him to reconcile. Sometimes he ends up spending his nights in front of his work laptop, sitting beside the department’s router for faster connection speeds. The sooner the data gets sent to the overseas branches of the company he works for, the sooner he can go home.  
  
Once Jun is shrugging on his suit jacket and prepares to head back home, he leaves the accountant in the office along with his work laptop. He assumes another job that has no pay, save for the thumbs up and the comments complimenting what he posted.  
  
He films porn videos and puts them up in renowned adult websites under a common username. Whenever there’s an influx of subscribers after he just posted a new video, he waits patiently for the comments and the rating.  
  
Jun has never posted anything that hasn’t gotten an approval rating of below 85%.  
  
Some users called his stuff art. Most praised it by failing to articulate how hot they found it. It didn’t matter how they phrased it—Jun understands. It’s the thought that counts for him. He enjoys reading other people’s thoughts and gratitude for posting another “quality video”. He looks forward to their reactions and enthusiasm.  
  
Jun loves what he’s doing. He gets a personal satisfaction out of it aside from what he feels when he has another man twitching under his hands. The fulfillment that remains with him is not caused by sexual gratification, but by the thought that with a few edits, he will be able to post another thing worthy of people’s time. Porn has a negative connotation, and anything amateur usually gets scoffed at. That’s what Jun wants to challenge, to prove wrong. It doesn’t have to be scripted for it to get a high rating.  
  
It just needs to _deliver_.  
  
But for him to be able to do these things, he has to rely on another party. A willing person who will submit to his set rules. Jun has accounts in various porn websites and communities, all under one username, and his inbox is open to all.  
  
If he has an interested partner, he requires them first to send an email to an address that can’t be traced back to him. They must give him their stats, location—the basics.  
  
If Jun is equally interested, he asks for photos without providing his. This is the tricky part for him, because he has _standards_. He keeps his responses professional and business-like, but he’s quick to praise if he likes what he sees. Their faces wouldn’t be seen on camera (Jun would never show the porn communities how he looks like; it’s enough that they see his hands and hear his voice), but Jun has to like what he’s seeing while he does what’s being asked of him.  
  
It’s a service, in a way.  
  
And he’s particular to whom he gives it to.  
  
\--  
  
When Jun hit thirty, that was when the idea hit him. He promised to himself that he’d stop visiting swanky bars with booming bass and cheap drinks once he hit that age. He was done with one-night stands, with sloppy blowjobs in public restrooms. He was going to get what he occasionally needed from something else.  
  
One of his friends, Toma, works in the porn industry. Toma’s pretty much game for everything except people coming on his face, for reasons he’d never elaborated on with Jun. Given Toma’s job, he was also quite well-versed in the whole process of producing porn.  
  
“You take a camera, position it in a place that’ll capture everything,” Jun said that one time he finally had the guts to ask Toma how it all works behind the scenes. He has seen some of Toma’s videos, watched a couple of it on his couch with Toma himself. “How hard can it be?”  
  
“Ah, ah, ah,” Toma told him, shaking his forefinger. “You make it sound so easy, Jun-kun. Anyone can film porn, that’s true. But not everyone can cater to a specific audience. Anyone who has a functional dick can film himself jerking off and it will pass for amateur. But that’s boring. Who gives a shit about someone jacking off onscreen?”  
  
Jun didn’t, that was for sure. But he sure was listening to Toma ramble on.  
  
“You won’t always find a big audience,” Toma said. “But once you find the right one, it’s all going to start from there.”  
  
That was how it began, essentially.  
  
Jun’s first video under the username TakeYouHigher is with Toma, who agreed the moment Jun told him the concept and the setup: he was going to edge Toma and see how long Toma could hold out. No faces on camera, the safeword would be whatever Toma decided. No saying names, but begging was allowed, welcomed. Cock ring was on by default, but Toma bragged he could do without (he did possess the experience), so they ditched that part.  
  
A week after Jun posted his debut video, he received comments asking for similar videos and a bunch of thumbs ups. Toma went over to his house to celebrate his success with beer and blowjobs, and all in all, Jun felt accomplished at having done such a thing despite his limited resources.  
  
At present, his debut video with Toma has an approval rating of 92%.  
  
The rules changed over time.  
  
Jun is older now, working for a reputable company. He doesn’t know who gets to see his videos; they’re public. It could be the cafeteria lady or the janitor who might recognize him as “that edger who made this other guy cry that one time”.  
  
Jun doesn’t want that. His day job is separate from what he does to unwind. Being an accountant is stressful enough. He doesn’t want to be judged for what he’s doing, because that’s what most people do when confronted with something they don’t understand.  
  
So every time someone emails him and they’ve corresponded long enough that Jun is certain he’ll go and meet this guy in a hotel, he gives out his basic rules:

  1. Jun will never share his real name. He uses a variety of fake surnames for each session, but his favourite one as of late is Goda.
  2. Despite the fake name, his partner is not allowed to say it. Once the camera is on, Jun is that anonymous user only known as TakeYouHigher. He’s not whoever he introduced himself as beforehand.
  3. Their faces will never be on camera, and Jun will never put his partner’s name in any of his stuff.
  4. Cock rings are on to prolong the session. The men who come to Jun are not as experienced as Toma who managed without, and Jun has a variety of rings in his collection. His partner for each session can take their pick.
  5. Bondage is automatic to avoid the session being cut short. Wrists and feet are strapped to a chair. The use of gags is negotiable.
  6. Safewords are according to what his partner tells him, but they must say it to Jun beforehand, preferably via email so Jun already has it memorized.
  7. Premature ejaculation is allowed, but not advised.
  8. Jun will never use his mouth in edging. Just his hands and he can touch anywhere he wants.
  9. Jun will never take off his clothes, and his partner will wear nothing.
  10. If Jun and/or his partner is wearing jewelry, that can stay on.



Negotiation and clarification are encouraged, but only before the session starts. Once the camera starts rolling, Jun is running the show. His partner can beg, but it’s up to Jun when he’ll give it.  
  
Aside from these rules, there are also five personal ones that Jun adheres to:

  1. He times each session to have an estimate of how long his upcoming video might be.
  2. He schedules, picks the meeting spot and the hotel. It’s non-negotiable.
  3. He will never have a repeat session with anyone unless the requests get so overwhelming _and_ there’s something new for him to try. So far, there’s been nothing like that.
  4. After a successful shoot, he has the rest of the weekend to upload it. Whatever he has must be out there.
  5. The kisses Jun gives will never be seen on camera, and he will never be affectionate as long as the recording is ongoing.



If any of the rules are broken, the recording and the entire session stop. Immediately. Jun has had to do it in the past (but never because of him breaking his own), and not once did he feel sorry for it. Rulebreakers automatically get blocked from contacting him again, and the list is growing because most of the men who email him don’t exactly know what they’re signing up for.  
  
Which makes the men who actually do worthy of Jun’s time all the more.  
  
\--  
  
On a Saturday evening, Jun is waiting in a restaurant for someone named Aiba Masaki. Aiba is older than him by a couple of months, hails from Chiba, and works at a grocery. That part, Jun didn’t ask, but something Aiba willingly volunteered himself. Aiba could be operating under a pseudonym, but Jun has a feeling Aiba’s been truthful in the duration of their correspondence.  
  
He’s rereading Aiba’s reply to his rules when someone takes a seat in front of him, and Jun discovers that Aiba Masaki is not simply photogenic, he is gorgeous in person. Jun is delighted with what he’s seeing and takes it all in: the curve of Aiba’s jaw, his slightly tanned skin, his long limbs, his bright smile.  
  
“Goda-san?” Aiba tries, and it makes Jun smile.  
  
“Aiba-san?” he asks back, just for the fun of it.  
  
Aiba laughs, jovial and lighting up his handsome face. Jun has a feeling he will enjoy his time tonight with this man. “Oh it is you, indeed,” he says. “I didn’t expect you to be—uh…”  
  
Jun inclines his head. “Yes?”  
  
“Well, to be actually good-looking,” Aiba mumbles, like he’s afraid anyone will hear them. Jun has received this compliment multiple times, but there’s something about the way Aiba says it that makes him keep his grin. “I only saw your hands and heard your voice.”  
  
Jun suspects that explains Aiba’s reaction earlier. “And how many times have you heard my voice?”  
  
Aiba giggles, and he’s blushing a little. Jun likes what he sees, all right. He wonders if Aiba will flush all over once they do what they’re here for. “I’m subscribed to your channel, okay?”  
  
Jun turns away with a smile, calling a waiter over for their order. “I’m just teasing.”  
  
“I know,” Aiba says.  
  
They order varying light meals and keep their conversation friendly, with not a single mention of what they’re about to do together. Aiba doesn’t ask personal questions—instead he talks about Shimura Ken’s gags and shows off a gag of his own. It makes Jun laugh, and by the time their dinner is over and it’s time for them to head upstairs to the reserved hotel room, they’re both loosened up that Jun thinks he will go home with another great video in tow.  
  
It’s Aiba who kisses him first, tentatively, once they’re inside the hotel room. Jun had been here before he headed for the restaurant, and he had already laid out what they were going to use tonight. But he needs to work Aiba up before they can actually begin, so Jun kisses back, slow kisses that eventually turn heated.  
  
Jun helps Aiba take off his clothes, folds them neatly and places them on the bed. When Aiba begins to get hard, Jun reaches for the lube and coats his hands with it.  
  
The first stroke has Aiba laughing against his mouth, and when Jun squeezes, Aiba hisses. This is when Jun finds out what sounds these men make with a twist of his wrist, a firm stroke here, featherlight touches on their balls. He files them away for future use, later when Aiba’s fully worked up that Jun can strap him to the chair and turn on the camera.  
  
It takes a while, but eventually Aiba is flushed and panting, his tan blooming to an attractive shade of red that colors his cheeks, neck, and chest. Jun runs a thumb over Aiba’s cheekbone, relishing in the warmth he feels. Aiba gives him a nod, and Jun stands, retrieves what he needs.  
  
He makes Aiba sit on the edge, straps Aiba’s wrists to the armrests of the chair, Aiba’s ankles to the legs. Jun spreads Aiba’s thighs as far as the binds will give, and when he’s done, he stands and examines his handiwork.  
  
Then he goes for the lighting adjustments, unplugging the lamp on the nightstand and moving it elsewhere, rearranging furniture to provide proper shadowing. Aiba is attractive, and even with his face being out of the shot, Jun’s viewers would have to see how beautiful he is. Jun wants to project Aiba to his audience, make them see that he was once in the company of this dashing young man who knows what he wants from Jun.  
  
When Jun’s done with all the preparations including the camera and the tripod, he goes to the washroom to clean his hands. He dries them off with a towel and returns. He switches on the camera and sits on the chair he placed between Aiba’s spread legs. He’s done this for many times that he knows it’s only his hands up to his forearms that can be seen, while Aiba’s body is completely in the shot except for his face.  
  
“What do you say when you want me to stop?” Jun asks. This bit will never make it to the final video, but he asks anyway so there’s a record of it in the uncut versions he has on his prized hard drive at home.  
  
“Pineapple,” Aiba says, and it’s more charming to hear him syllabicate it. Jun can’t help the smile on his face as he nods, lubes his hands, and touches Aiba again.  
  
Once Aiba is _there_ , once he begins hissing with his eyes squeezed shut, Jun retrieves the cock ring and puts it on.  
  
Aiba gasps. It’s a manly sound that ends in a rush of breath, and Jun licks his lips in anticipation. Aiba’s cock is hard, curving, and flushed, undoubtedly in an enticing state for the camera.  
  
Jun puts his hand on him and begins stroking, keeps each evenly paced. For a while there’s nothing but the slick sounds of him pumping Aiba’s dick and Aiba’s heavy intakes of breath, but when Jun starts flicking his wrist, Aiba gives in to a loud moan, and it’s definitely not the exaggerated kind most porn videos have.  
  
Jun keeps going, hand moving faster, and when he sees Aiba’s toes curling and hips lifting off the seat, he unhands Aiba completely.  
  
Aiba’s frustrated scream of “fuck!” tells Jun he’s doing the right thing.  
  
He allows Aiba to catch his breath and moves to apply more lube on his hands. Once he’s satisfied, he lets his fingers lightly skim over Aiba’s balls, watches how Aiba’s thighs jolt as an instant reaction.  
  
Aiba huffs out a series of short breaths, and Jun begins touching him again, but his grip is looser and his pumps are slower. He keeps running his fingers lightly over Aiba’s scrotum, and when Aiba throws his head back to reveal the column of his sweaty neck, Jun wishes he can give people this camera angle too.  
  
But he sticks to what they have and he resolves to stroke Aiba fast and hard, like he’s not going to stop even if Aiba comes. Aiba pulls at his binds, but of course they don’t give, and his abdominal muscles are clenching as he tries to hold out.  
  
A sharp hiss makes Jun let go, withdrawing so far he’s sure the things on camera right now are his knees.  
  
It takes a few seconds, but Aiba is soon able to look down and meet Jun’s eyes. Jun tilts his head in question, and when Aiba nods, he goes again.  
  
Aiba comes several minutes later, and it happens when Jun got him so flushed and desperate that all he managed to utter was “please” over and over. Jun simply had to run his forefinger on the head of Aiba’s dick and Aiba jerked, hips canting as he dirties his own chest.  
  
When that’s done, Jun gets his hand on Aiba’s stomach and smears his release on his own skin. Aiba’s still out of it, still floating pleasantly off somewhere, but Jun makes him come back down immediately.  
  
He doesn’t take off the cock ring and resumes stroking, not stopping despite Aiba trying to twitch away from him. This is the normal reaction upon overstimulation, but it never fails to thrill Jun. Aiba doesn’t say pineapple, so Jun keeps at it, reaches up to pinch a taut nipple and sends Aiba hissing loudly through clenched teeth.  
  
By the end of it, after Jun has managed to wring out two orgasms from Aiba and when night has turned into the early hours of the day and the marks around Aiba’s wrists and ankles have started to fade, Jun checks the duration of the video and finds that it exceeds his initial estimation of twenty minutes, the length close to thirty.  
  
Before they part after splitting the room’s fare, Aiba tugs on Jun’s pinky and whispers, “Thank you,” like he truly means it.  
  
Jun smiles and tells him to look forward to his next upload.  
  
\--  
  
When Jun arrives home, he transfers the video to his laptop and his external hard drive. The external, he plugs on his widescreen TV much later, when he’s sitting comfortably on the couch and has one hand on his cock.  
  
This is what Jun does after each successful recording session: he watches the unedited, uncut version and jerks off to it, attends to himself after doing a job well done of attending to somebody else. Jun never gets hard in any of his sessions; he saves it all for when he’s alone at home.  
  
The camera is positioned on their side so there’s no front view of Aiba’s body, but it’s a new angle still and something Jun is seeing for the first time. He’s always the first viewer of his videos. He can’t put it out there without knowing what it is, what are its key points. With that kind of mindset, Jun is sometimes amazed he’s not working in the sales department.  
  
Hearing Aiba’s noises on camera is different than hearing it in person. The sound is a little turned down, so Jun makes a mental note of adjusting and boosting the volume once he starts editing it. He matches the rhythm of his hand to the one in the video, pumping himself like the way he did Aiba.  
  
When Jun comes, it’s to the sound of Aiba’s continuous hissing and the sight of his flushed, lean but toned body arching off the chair as far as he could go. Even without seeing Aiba’s face, Jun can remember how he looked like when he spilled all over himself, and that’s enough to get him there.  
  
He turns off the video once he can get his limbs to move and opts for a shower before he begins editing. He can continue watching it later; he hates being filthy after the hazy rush of his orgasm has subsided.  
  
It’s already Sunday night when Jun posts his new video of twenty-three minutes on all the channels he has in various websites. He makes sure to add how many times Aiba came to the title, and when the upload is finished, he shuts off his laptop and tucks away his recreational activities for the following weekend.  
  
\--  
  
It’s the text message from Toma that makes him log in. Jun typically doesn’t log in on workdays, saving all the notifications for Friday night or Saturday morning if he has to go and share a drink with his colleagues or his friends.  
  
But Toma’s text of _I can’t believe you found someone who can beat my 92 holy shit_ definitely got his attention, so he goes incognito and logs in to all of his accounts.  
  
He’s greeted by 34 comments in one website, 27 in the other, and 11 in one more. When Jun checks the video’s statistics, he can’t help laughing at the overall approval rating of 95%.  
  
The video has only been up for a week.  
  
He types a quick text to Toma, going for _Can’t believe I found him either_. It’s true; Jun was impressed with how arresting Aiba was when they met, that the photos didn’t lie. And right now he’s getting proofs that he managed to convey Aiba’s photogenicity to his subscribers and avid viewers.  
  
His phone pings with another text. _Are you sure this guy is not a porn star_ , is what Toma is asking now. Jun figures Toma must be watching the video and probably jacking off to it. Who wouldn’t?  
  
_You’re the porn star_ , Jun types quickly, _you answer your question_.  
  
Jun skims through the comments, finding almost the same reaction of “oh wow this is amazing”, “THE WAY HE HISSES!!!!”, and the seemingly common consensus of “fuck this guy is hot”.  
  
Damn straight, Jun thinks. He sleeps that night with a smile on his face.  
  
\--  
  
Work has become hectic that Jun had to take it home with him for a couple of weeks. In the time he’s away from the porn community, Toma fills him in regarding the stats of his videos.  
  
_I’m the pioneer, the one who started it all_ , Toma bragged when Jun asked why he was invested in how Jun’s channels were faring. _I’m concerned about my legacy._  
  
His legacy, yeah right. Jun snorted when he read that and proceeded to ignore it. He also hasn’t opened the email address he has for applicants, and he has the notifications for that one turned off because the emails might arrive when he’s in the middle of an important meeting.  
  
When Jun finally gets a breather, he’s nursing a glass of wine as he scrolls through the inbox of that particular email address.  
  
He has disappeared for nearly a month, and he comes back to five applicants, all of which who had the courage of contacting Jun after seeing Aiba Masaki’s video, except for one.  
  
That’s the one Jun opens last. It’s also the latest email in the inbox, and the only one which has his attention.  
  
_TakeYouHigher_ , it said, like it was a formal letter and not a request for a chance to be edged on camera, _I’m here because of Aiba-shi’s recommendation. If that interests you, I’ll be waiting._  
  
That’s all the message contains. The honorific attached to Aiba’s name makes him wonder; he never encountered an email sent because of a personal recommendation. Jun isn’t the type to be recommended, he’s usually sought for what he can do.  
  
But this guy—Jun squints at the email address and finds ‘dq300617’ as the email address—sent him a message because apparently, his session with Aiba was not only memorable for him but for Aiba as well that he talked about it with another.  
  
Jun has no rules regarding that sort of thing. Once they leave the room, their businesses remain theirs; it’s up to them how they deal with the experience. Jun edits and uploads the videos for the enjoyment of a particular type of audience. He has no idea what his previous partners have done, except for what this guy told him about Aiba.  
  
Jun allows himself to think about it for a moment, before typing a short reply asking for a name, stats, and preferences. Jun is willing to explore kinks as long as none of them violates his set rules, and he’s also willing to compromise. Despite his commanding persona in his videos, he tries to cater to what the other person wants from him as much as he can.  
  
It hasn’t even been fifteen minutes when he receives a response, and he reads through it all quickly. Ninomiya Kazunari (or Kazuya; Jun is a little uncertain about the kanji), Nino for convenience, age thirty-three, also from Tokyo, and up for anything Jun has in mind.  
  
Jun makes this Nino wait an entire day before he asks for photos. Unlike Aiba who sent him topless selfies that seemed handpicked for Jun’s approval, Nino sends him a dick pic and a photo of his face, two separate images focusing on two different things.  
  
Jun won’t deny that he likes what he sees. Nino has a youthful face and a coy smile, and he has a dick that looks bigger than Aiba’s. Jun can’t stave off the curiosity now that he has seen what he has to work with, but he doesn’t want to appear too excited so he makes Nino wait for two more days.  
  
It’s the differences in Nino and Aiba’s approaches that makes Jun commit, in the end. He schedules a meetup after sending over his rules and receiving Nino’s agreement, and on his planner he outlines the things he needs.  
  
Judging by Nino’s replies, Jun is positive there’s one item he must never forget aside from the cock ring.  
  
He settles for the bit gag in the end, underlining it twice so he doesn’t forget.  
  
\--  
  
Unlike Aiba who hisses sharply when he’s close and has to hold it, Nino is the whimpering type.  
  
Jun discovers it when he has Nino in a similar state Aiba was in more than a month ago. This time, instead of the camera perched on their side, Jun has it in front of Nino, giving everyone a view of Nino’s hard, leaking cock, spread legs, his flushing chest, and sweaty neck. Jun stays on Nino’s right, unseen by the camera unless he touches Nino somewhere.  
  
Nino’s been whimpering for nearly five minutes since the start of their session, and Jun’s a little proud of how Nino’s taking it. Jun’s being a little relentless on account of Nino’s openness, inserting a finger or two in Nino’s hole and crooking them every now and then.  
  
From the camera’s position in the hotel room, Jun is certain his viewers will see how Nino’s stomach muscles clench each time Jun puts his hand on Nino’s cock while stroking Nino’s prostate in circles.  
  
Nino doesn’t keep his needy whimpers down, but that’s what the gag is for. It doesn’t quiet him, but it does muffle his noises to nothing but desperation, and Jun is sure it’s Nino’s sounds alone that will make him come at home when he watches this.  
  
But for now, he pulls away to lube his hands and returns to pinch the head of Nino’s cock. Nino jolts and arches, thighs jerking in an effort to hold out. Jun pinches the slick cockhead again and reaches up to tweak one of Nino’s nipples.  
  
That sends Nino sobbing, body slumping back on the chair. Jun trails his fingers on Nino’s collarbone and traces the length of it, his other hand still pumping Nino leisurely. When Nino lets out this high pitched whine, Jun unhands him and allows him catch his breath.  
  
Nino’s safeword is Zelda, and Jun searches his eyes to check if he’s about to say it despite the gag.  
  
Nino stares back, then looks down at his dick, then back at Jun.  
  
Jun smiles. He makes a circle with his hand and allows the head of Nino’s cock to pass through it. With one tilt of his chin, Nino begins lifting his hips, or at least as far as the binds allow him to go. Jun’s fist doesn’t reach much, just halfway along Nino’s shaft, so eventually he goes back to pumping Nino while one hand begins massaging his sack.  
  
Nino’s breathing hard through his nose, his groans muffled but still so audible. When Jun goes for squeezing both the head of Nino’s cock and Nino’s balls, Nino outright sobs.  
  
Jun gets three fingers up Nino’s ass without warning, and when he strokes the tiny bump at the same time he pinches Nino’s nipple, Nino comes untouched.  
  
There’s the title for this upcoming video. Jun smirks, lets Nino collect himself and doesn’t take off the cock ring. He checks his watch and sees Nino came nine minutes after they started, which is pretty impressive.  
  
But Jun doesn’t want one orgasm from him. He’s seen and touched Nino’s dick, and he knows the resulting video will get plenty of hits if he makes Nino come untouched again, Nino’s breathy little whimpers accompanying his release.  
  
Jun gets his hand on Nino’s come and uses it for lube, and this time, when he strokes, he clamps one hand on the base of Nino’s dick, just above the cock ring. He pumps fast, follows Nino’s movements when Nino tries to twitch away from him. Jun observes Nino’s reddened face as he doesn’t stop, finds Nino’s eyes shut tight, his teeth clenched around the gag so hard he might leave indentations later.  
  
When Nino’s body arches towards him, he lets go and lathers more lube on his hands. Nino’s using his feet and hands for balance, going as far as the ropes allow. Jun leans back on his chair and merely observes, any part of his body out of the shot.  
  
Nino takes a few seconds to settle, but he manages to shakily go back to his original position. The chair has moved a little closer to the camera, so Jun stands and goes behind the camera to check if the angle is still perfect.  
  
It isn’t. It’s a little off thanks to Nino’s desperation, and Jun clicks his tongue as he makes his way back to Nino.  
  
Nino’s eyes snap back to his, but there’s no fear there, just anticipation for what Jun’s going to do.  
  
“That won’t do,” Jun says, keeping his voice gravelly on purpose. He sees Nino’s cock twitch, and wraps his hand around Nino once more, the other stroking the inside of Nino’s thighs.  
  
“You ruined the shot,” Jun admonishes. “The angle earlier was just right.”  
  
Nino’s whimpering again, trying to get more friction on his dick but Jun gives him slow, almost light strokes and leaves it there. When Nino thrashes against his binds, Jun unhands him to tweak both of his pert nipples, sending him close to a howl.  
  
When Jun checks, Nino has come again. Some of it hits the underside of Jun’s forearm, and Jun stares at it until Nino has descended from his high and is looking at him with wild eyes.  
  
Jun abruptly reaches down to squeeze and pump Nino’s dick with both hands, not caring if Nino’s trying to move away from him. He hears no garbled version of Zelda but Nino’s whines and howls, and when Nino comes again, he’s practically a sobbing, filthy mess.  
  
Jun gives Nino three seconds as a reprieve, then strokes him again, fast and relentless like earlier.  
  
Nino’s eyes are wide and he’s trying to move away from Jun, but the binds don’t give.  
  
“This is for ruining the shot and moving the chair earlier,” Jun says conversationally, like he’s merely drawling out remaining balances and applicable interests in front of his boss.  
  
Nino keeps whimpering but he doesn’t tell Jun to stop, and when Jun’s finally satisfied and Nino’s a slumped, panting mess on the chair, Jun lets him go for good.  
  
Later, when Jun has cleaned up Nino and has massaged his aching ankles and wrists, Nino smirks at him. Not quite the confident one he first flashed Jun when they met in the bookstore earlier, but a smile that seems content and sated.  
  
“Aiba-shi never told me anything about your eyebrows,” Nino says, and Jun quirks one on instinct. Nino chuckles, weak and exhausted but truly amused. “I like them.”  
  
Unlike Aiba who tugged on Jun’s pinky to say thank you, Nino kisses the corner of Jun’s mouth just before they leave the room.  
  
On the train ride home, he receives an email from Nino.  
  
_Giant,_ it reads because Jun introduced himself as Goda, _thanks for taking me higher_.  
  
The train is not that crowded, so Jun doesn’t bother to stifle his laugh.  
  
\--  
  
Jun’s video with Nino coming five times (the first two of which were untouched) gets an overall rating of 94%, the majority of the porn community praising Nino’s needy whimpers and the way Jun scolded him for moving the chair.  
  
The unedited version is actually thirty-six minutes long, but after Jun made some cuts and a few tweaks here and there, the one on his channel is at twenty-seven.  
  
Toma’s text of _Where do you keep finding people who are not porn stars but are rated higher than me_ , got Jun so proud of himself that his reward was to watch Nino’s and Aiba’s videos (the uncut versions, of course) and jerk off to them on his bed. From what Nino told him, he and Aiba were childhood friends. The idea of friends talking about Jun’s accomplishments in the virtual world of adult videos made Jun come harder than he thought he would, his mind blissfully blank until he realizes how sticky he left his thighs.  
  
_I don’t find them_ , is Jun’s late reply to Toma, when he has cleaned up and is relaxed in bed and in the middle of sifting through work emails.  
  
_They find me._  
  
And that, for Jun, is the most thrilling part in all this.  
  
\--  
  
After Nino comes a series of failures. One guy didn’t know how safewords work despite his insistence that he knew, and Jun immediately cut their session short and blocked his email address.  
  
Another screamed, “Miyama!” (Jun’s fake name that time) when he came, so Jun quickly turned off the video and untied him. Once he realized what was happening, he begged Jun for another chance but then said Jun’s fake name again.  
  
After that, Jun stayed off the radar for a while. Two successes and a bunch of failed sessions that seemed to pile up one after another left Jun pissed and frustrated.  
  
It required Toma to stage an intervention, notifying Jun that someone will contact him a few days from now.  
  
That day arrives and Jun receives an email from someone named Ohno, a small man with gorgeous hands. Jun only entertained him because he was Toma’s recommendation, boasting he knows someone who can give Jun the quality he’s looking for.  
  
But just because Toma had recommended Ohno personally doesn’t mean Jun gives Ohno a free pass. He had learned his lesson and set his standards higher. He asks for photos, and when they don’t satisfy him, he asks for a short video of anything featuring Ohno. Whatever he feels like sharing with Jun.  
  
Ohno’s response is a video of him fishing and showing off his tan. The camera is facing his hands when it cuts to another scene. It’s unexpected, that Ohno took the time to edit this, but now Jun is definitely interested. In the next shot, there are the same hands masturbating to porn on mute, the slick sounds of Ohno stroking his growing shaft the only thing Jun hears.  
  
Jun figures perhaps Ohno is the quiet type. He’s never had that before, so by the end of the video (it faded to black before Ohno came), Jun schedules a meeting and books a hotel room.  
  
When they’re there a couple of days later, Jun’s inference proves to be true. Ohno doesn’t utter a word, except grunts in confirmation and sometimes only nods. When Jun clarifies his safeword, that’s when Ohno finally speaks up.  
  
“Mushroom.”  
  
Jun smiles and gets the camera rolling. Jun has Ohno strapped to a chair using tape—Ohno’s personal request. He claimed he didn’t need a cock ring so Jun went without, taking his word for it.  
  
Which means Ohno better not come unless Jun has at least six minutes of footage.  
  
Ohno lives up to his promise however, and Jun thinks Toma would be proud if he could see his friend. Ohno bites his lower lip when he’s close, drumming his fingers against the armrests. He tries to fuck Jun’s fist but is only able to get friction around the head, but still he doesn’t utter a sound.  
  
Jun is, frankly, impressed. Usually, when he has men in this state, so close to orgasm but can’t quite reach it because Jun’s preventing them, they’re making all sorts of noises. They cry out, whimper, whine, hiss, moan so desperately. Sometimes they beg again and again, if Jun doesn’t have them gagged.  
  
Ohno is not gagged, which makes his endurance noteworthy in Jun’s opinion since he has to hold on to two things: his impending orgasm and dedication to keeping quiet.  
  
Jun lathers more lube in his hands and strokes fast, feeling Ohno’s cock twitch in his hand. Ohno arches, revealing a flexible and nimble body, but despite his trembling jaw, Jun still doesn’t hear a thing.  
  
Time check, and Jun sees they’ve been at it for eight minutes.  
  
He runs his fingertips down Ohno’s cock, light and ticklish, and Ohno squirms, thighs quaking like he wants to squeeze them together but can’t because his ankles are taped to the chair’s legs. Jun tickles his balls next, his other hand rubbing circles on the inside of Ohno’s thigh.  
  
Jun takes Ohno’s cock in hand once more and pumps, never taking his eyes off Ohno’s face. Jun wants to see how long he can cling to silence and what measures he’ll take in order not to come so soon.  
  
Ohno is biting on his lower lip, head thrown back, stomach rippling in an effort not to fuck into Jun’s fist. Jun strokes faster, squeezing and pinching once in a while, and when Ohno’s eyes snap open, Jun covers the head of Ohno’s cock with his hand.  
  
Ohno finishes with a breathless, shaky moan, eyes never leaving Jun’s as he coats Jun’s palm with his come. Jun immediately clamps his left hand on the base of Ohno’s cock to prevent blood to flow, and his right, he brings to Ohno’s mouth.  
  
This is a confession Jun managed to wring out of Ohno in their emails: Ohno will eat anything you give him. At first it confused Jun, thinking Ohno was a cheap date, but when it _clicked_ , he knew he had to do it.  
  
The camera doesn’t fully capture it, but Jun is certain that at the edge of the frame, everyone will see a tongue greedily darting out to lap the come on Jun’s hand. When Ohno has licked Jun’s palm clean, he moves to Jun’s fingers, sucking three at a time.  
  
Jun, just to see how many he can fit, inserts his pinky as well, and Ohno, with his mouth stretched, moans around his fingers but doesn’t pull away.  
  
After that, Ohno’s second orgasm is easier to wring out of him, just a stroke on his prostate and a pinch to the softest part of his belly. Ohno’s come ends up on his chest this time, but Jun doesn’t disappoint—he dabs his fingers on Ohno’s release and offers his glistening fingers to Ohno, but keeps his distance so Ohno has to move forward if he wants to taste his come.  
  
Ohno does. He leans as far as he can, and Jun props Ohno’s head up with one hand fisted in his hair so his face won’t be seen on camera. Ohno licks him clean, his sucking noises filthy and audible, and when Jun finally, finally pulls away, he doesn’t miss the happy glow on Ohno’s face.  
  
Ohno mouths his thanks against Jun’s lips much, much later, his tanned, rough hands cradling Jun’s face as he expresses his gratitude.  
  
Back in Jun’s home, he jerks off to Ohno’s unedited video with three of his fingers shoved into his own mouth, biting down on his skin a little when he comes.  
  
When he acquires his bearings back, he calls Toma and says thank you.  
  
He ignores the smug “What did I tell you?” that he hears after.  
  
A week later, Ohno’s video with Jun gets a rating of 94%. Jun makes sure to rub it in Toma’s face.  
  
\--  
  
Almost three months after Ohno’s video with Jun, an email that finally catches Jun’s interest pops up in his inbox. He’s been getting more interested applicants since Aiba and Nino, but none of them so far proved to be interesting enough for Jun save for Ohno, who only emailed him because of Toma.  
  
At first, this guy’s email was something Jun skimmed through. It wasn’t like Nino’s curt and straightforward one or Aiba’s friendly and enthusiastic one. It was...boring. Full of keigo that made Jun snort, because who uses keigo when emailing a fellow member of the same porn community?  
  
But what made Jun give this person a chance was the second email. Usually, when Jun doesn’t respond in a month, his interested applicants give up. It’s part of his rules, pasted there on his online profile. He has a month to reply, and if they receive nothing from him, they should treat it as a no.  
  
Jun didn't get to read the second email until a few weeks later, though, since he had a business trip to Okinawa. He’s not the only accountant in his department, but they sent him because he has a reputation of getting stuff done. After the trip, he was assigned to be part of a committee which would plan for the farewell party of a colleague leaving for Korea.  
  
Jun couldn’t refuse; he liked Kiko-chan.  
  
It’s after Jun’s return from Kiko's farewell party that he finds a new email having no subject. It’s the weekend and he can finally breathe, so when he’s chilling on his bed and watching baseball reruns, he begins reading the messages.  
  
Jun realizes it’s from the same guy when he reads the keigo. It definitely stands out from the rest, because most emails Jun has seen had the same vibe and manner of expressing their desires to contribute to Jun’s growing channel. But this one is formally drafted like a cover letter, and by the end of it, there’s an admission that this guy thinks Jun can give him what he needs.  
  
That kind of line isn’t new with emails of this nature, but the keigo piques Jun’s curiosity.  
  
He asks for the usual and goes to bed without thinking about it. If the guy is over forty, Jun will automatically decline. If the guy is married but closeted, he will also automatically decline. Jun is not the go-to person for experimentation or coddling. This is the second email from this person, and for Jun, that warrants stricter requirements.  
  
The following morning, Jun wakes up to an email containing the following information: Kageyama, age thirty-four, salaryman from Tokyo. The similarity of their job makes Jun’s nose scrunch, but he usually rejects potential partners after the photos.  
  
Jun asks for those three days later and specifies a minimum of six shots—two selfies, one half-body and topless, one or two fully naked, and one or two fully naked and fully hard.  
  
The reply arrives a week and two days later, when Jun has honestly forgotten about it and is on skype with Toma, who’s currently shooting another AV in some studio. Toma is blabbing about his fluffer having a great mouth but rough hands, and Jun is just humming through most of the conversation.  
  
“Are you busy?” Toma asks, frowning at him. Jun’s feed is on audio only, because his default setting is to never allow his face to be seen on camera.  
  
“Just got an email,” Jun says absentmindedly, fingers already moving to check it.  
  
Toma laughs. “From another potential porn star?”  
  
Jun rolls his eyes despite Toma not seeing it. “From another one who will beat your 92.”  
  
“Try converting these guys to the porn industry,” Toma says in between chuckles.  
  
“I don’t even know their real names,” Jun retorts. The email is loading, and it appears Kageyama has sent him HQ photos. He downloads them. “I gotta go.”  
  
Toma groans, but he waves his hands to shoo him away. “Fine. I’m almost up for the next take anyway.”  
  
Jun cuts off the line without another word, and he fetches a can of beer from the fridge to pass the time. When he gets back, the photos are done loading and are saved in his preferred folder, and Jun wastes no time to check them.  
  
He has received six shots. The selfies are horrible and the angle gives him a view of Kageyama’s forehead, his happy smile falling out of the shot. It looks like he was on a trip in both photos.  
  
Jun moves on to the rest. The topless shot shows him sloping shoulders but lean, smooth arms. Kageyama has no defined abs, but it’s obvious he keeps his body fit and exercises regularly.  
  
The next one is a photo of him fully naked, taken in a bathroom. But instead of the front view that Jun is expecting, he gets Kageyama’s back and perky ass, skin slightly damp from the shower he must have had before.  
  
Jun’s already leaning on a yes but he saves the final judgment for the last two. They were taken in the same bathroom but the mirror is foggy, though not obscuring the view of Kageyama jerking himself off. One is just zoomed in compared to the other, but it’s enough for Jun to see what he’s about to work with.  
  
He drafts an email to Kageyama after checking his schedule, but he only sends it after two more days.  
  
When Jun receives a reply half a day later, he finds out that the man is willing to be tied up, gagged, and his orgasms denied if Jun saw fit. All typed out in keigo, so polite and formal, like he’s truly asking Jun for a favor.  
  
Jun decides on the ball gag and sets the date.  
  
\--

If there’s one thing Jun watches out for whenever he goes to meet his potential partners, it’s their behavior. If they’re uncertain and shifty, Jun thanks them for the time and calls it off. He never gives these hesitant guys a second chance; once is quite enough. Jun has no time to hold somebody else’s hand throughout the entire process, so if they can’t own up to what they signed up for, Jun grants them the easy way out and walks away himself.  
  
They meet in a café across a hotel, Kageyama dressed in slacks and black long sleeves. It’s hard to believe this is the same guy who had to ask Jun twice just to meet up with him.  
  
Kageyama’s selfies didn’t do him justice, though. He’s not as photogenic as Aiba, but in a relaxed atmosphere, he is attractive. Jun looks forward to having him on the verge of orgasm.  
  
Jun’s name this time is Miyama, and when he hears it fall from Kageyama’s full lips, he smiles, pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. It’ll be a waste if this guy doesn’t live up to his expectations.  
  
An hour or two later, Jun is kissing Kageyama in the hotel room and has the man melting under his touch. Jun is tempted to ask how long it’s been for him but holds back; it’s not his business to know what made them come to him. The important thing is that they’re here and willing.  
  
It takes a while to work Kageyama up, longer than most Jun had to work with in the past, but eventually he’s able to strap the man to a chair and gag him.  
  
Jun gets the camera rolling after he puts on the cock ring, and the first thing he does when he settles back between Kageyama’s legs is to trace the vein on the man’s cock.  
  
He receives a twitch of the thigh, but nothing more.  
  
Jun twists his ring to pull it off but ultimately decides against it, and instead begins lubing his hands with his ring on.  
  
He runs the back of his chunky ring on the cockhead, hearing a quiet, garbled moan for a response. Jun finally takes hold of Kageyama’s dick and strokes fast, eyes fixated on the muscle twitches he receives as reactions. He pumps quickly and messily, wanting the filthy sounds to reverberate in the room and get caught on camera.  
  
The gag successfully keeps Kageyama quiet, but from time to time there’s this incomprehensible groan that escapes from him. Jun uses both hands now, one for stroking and the other for squeezing the head. Unlike Aiba who hisses when he’s about to come or Nino who outright whimpers, Kageyama slams his body against the chair and gives a full body shudder.  
  
Jun withdraws when the cock in his hands twitches, and he moves to fondle Kageyama’s balls.  
  
It earns Jun something akin to a whine, and Jun gets more lube on his hands before rubbing circles on Kageyama’s hole. Jun watches his face when he pushes the first finger in, the way he throws his head back in a moan that’s muffled by the gag. He’s flushed and sweaty and beginning to drool a little, the ball glistening.  
  
Jun pinches a nipple at the same time he resumes stroking, and Kageyama’s breath hitches, body taut, cock twitching.  
  
Jun lets go. “No,” he says sternly. The camera is on their side again, and Jun makes sure his hands are out of the shot. “No.”  
  
Something like “please” escapes from Kageyama’s lips, like he’s not consciously saying it, and Jun clicks his tongue repeatedly.  
  
“No,” he repeats.  
  
Part of what Kageyama disclosed to him in the emails was what he liked being told what to do from time to time, and Jun is using his most commanding tone now. He permits Kageyama a couple of seconds of reprieve before pumping him again, squeezing the base, the shaft, and the head and doing it again.  
  
Kageyama sags against the chair, legs still spreading wider as he bucks to Jun’s touch. Jun shoves two slick fingers in Kageyama’s ass, steadily fucking him. Jun follows the bead of sweat the trickles the side of Kageyama’s face, sees it settle on his clavicle.  
  
He moves quicker, and when Kageyama’s limbs jerk, feet on tiptoes by the floor, Jun unhands him, pinches and twists both nipples instead.  
  
Kageyama cries out of frustration, loud enough to be heard despite the gag. Jun checks the time and sees they’ve been at it for seven minutes.  
  
Jun puts his hand on Kageyama’s cock again and strokes experimentally, leisurely. When Kageyama starts squirming in his binds, Jun goes faster and doesn’t stop until he hears hitched breaths.  
  
He lets go but realizes it’s too late: Kageyama’s coming, all over his stomach, his deep rumble of a groan undoubtedly heard in the video.  
  
Jun touches him again without warning, making sure it’s the ringed hand that gives the firm, brutal strokes. Kageyama’s hips lift off the chair, thrusting eagerly in Jun’s hand, and when he’s about to come again, Jun pulls back.  
  
“Don’t you dare,” Jun warns.  
  
Kageyama whimpers, breaths heaving, knees shaking.  
  
“No.” Jun’s voice is even and composed, but he laces it with displeasure. “Don’t you dare. Hold it. Hold it.”  
  
Jun keeps repeating this instruction as he resumes the strokes, gradually increasing in pace as he hears the pitch of Kageyama’s voice rising. With his other hand he cups Kageyama’s balls and rolls them onto his slick palm, watching the rise and fall of Kageyama’s chest as he continues his assault.  
  
Another whimper and Jun withdraws, stands to check the camera if it’s in the right angle still. Satisfied that it is, he coats his hands in more lube before plunging two fingers in Kageyama’s hole, locating his prostate with little trouble.  
  
That sends Kageyama writhing, upper body curving like he wants to get out of the chair. But the cuffs don’t give and he sinks against the backrest, sobbing when Jun strokes his prostate in time with his cock.  
  
Jun adds another finger, and Kageyama jerks, spurting all over his hand.  
  
Jun checks the time by glancing to his left, curls his lips in disapproval when he sees it’s only been fourteen minutes. He settles for making Kageyama pay for that orgasm, jerking him off so fast he’s absolutely screaming behind the gag.  
  
With Kageyama’s come for lube, it’s not difficult to get him to the brink again, but this time, Jun is watching out for it so he completely lets go and instead runs the heel of his palm over Kageyama’s stiff nipples.  
  
When Jun looks up, their eyes meet. Kageyama’s a little teary, face blotched and sweaty, but he doesn’t utter his safeword (omurice). Jun waits, but what Kageyama does instead is to cant his hips as far as the binds will allow, trying to find friction on his heavy, leaking cock.  
  
Jun relents, but only after running his fingertips teasingly over Kageyama’s balls. The cock ring he has on suits him—bright red wrapped around a flushed, aching cock. Jun appreciates the view for a while, lightly running his forefinger from the base to the head before going back down.  
  
Jun eventually brings his hands back, and they continue in this fashion for some time until Kageyama manages to exceed twenty minutes. Once he hits that mark, Jun strokes and doesn’t stop, milks him for everything.  
  
Kageyama soon attempts to move away from him, overly stimulated and nearly crying, but Jun puts on his most charming smile and coos, “Payment for earlier. I told you not to come but you did. And now you’re going to come again for me. You can’t help it.”  
  
Kageyama howls, muffled slightly by the gag, but to Jun’s utter pleasure, he doesn’t say omurice. Instead he does what Jun asked for, spilling hot with something like a growl escaping from him.  
  
Jun gets his come on his hands and pumps him again, thumbing at the head before pinching it, not stopping because he’s not asked to.  
  
Later, when Jun has made Kageyama come four times and has a video duration of twenty-nine minutes, Kageyama asks the one thing Jun never heard before.  
  
“Can we do this again?”  
  
It’s an innocent question, but Jun wasn’t aware he managed to satisfy Kageyama that much. Jun looks at him and tells him the truth.  
  
“I’ve never repeated partners.”  
  
Jun doesn’t embarrass Kageyama by elaborating on his reasons, that he believes no one will watch him edge the same guy albeit in a different camera angle. He makes out with Kageyama instead, plants quick pecks on his full lips, showing his appreciation for tonight by kissing him thoroughly.  
  
They part two hours later, Jun managing to catch the last train. Like with Nino, he receives an email from Kageyama, thanking him for tonight.  
  
When Jun gets home, he directly plugs the camcorder on the TV, and when he hears Kageyama’s muffled whimper at his first “don’t you dare”, he comes.  
  
\--  
  
After Kageyama’s video, which gets an influx of comments ranging from “he’s begging!!!!” to “that’s right don’t let him come”, and a rating of 94%, Jun relaxes in his home watching Toma’s latest AV, his phone set to receive notifications since it’s the weekend.  
  
Jun is not really watching, focused mostly on his unread comments. It’s been two weeks since Kageyama and so far, none of the applicants who approached Jun piqued his interest.  
  
It comes to his attention that there are some people who request a repeat performance in any of his stuff so far. Aiba is the fan favorite, but there are some who liked Nino’s shaky whimpers, asking Jun to edge him again till he cries.  
  
There are also those who loved Ohno’s enthusiastic come-eating and wanted more of it, but that will break Jun’s personal rule regarding repetition so he doesn’t dare consider it.  
  
Then of course, some viewers wanted to have him make Kageyama beg repeatedly, suggesting maybe Jun shouldn’t gag him next time so they could all hear what he has to say.  
  
Jun sighs. The thing about making these things is that most of his subscribers don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. As much as they request a repeat session, Jun can’t make it happen unless the other party contacts him _first_. He has to maintain a fixed distance in order for these things to work in his favor.  
  
He’s in control, and he always has to be. That’s what makes these videos a hit every time Jun has a new one to share on his channel. He can’t lose that.  
  
Aiba and Nino never contacted him again, and despite Toma’s claims that Ohno is reachable anytime, Jun refuses to be the one to send an email. He sets up meetings with others instead, but the videos he ends up uploading never reach the numbers he has gotten accustomed to.  
  
So when Kageyama sends him another email, Jun jumps at the opportunity. His recent videos are at low eighties and getting fewer comments, and Jun feels his quality is slowly deteriorating.  
  
This time though, when Jun clarifies the name, instead of Kageyama, he is asked to use Sho.  
  
Jun sticks with Miyama when they meet again in the same hotel room in the same setup minus the gag.  
  
Having Sho so worked up and tense under his hands makes Jun slow down a little. He’s getting familiar with the feel of Sho’s cock in his hand, so this time he focuses on the noises Sho is making without the gag.  
  
Sho does a mixture of what Aiba and Nino do, whimpering and hissing through his teeth when he wants so badly to hold out and Jun’s testing how far can he go.  
  
“Close,” Sho admits, arms and legs shaking. “Close, close, I’m close—”  
  
Jun withdraws and tweaks a nipple instead, smiling when Sho’s spine curves in response. He’s nowhere near Ohno’s flexibility, but it’s the reaction that matters.  
  
“Thank you for telling me,” Jun says sincerely, and he sees Sho bite his lip, blush growing deeper in shade.  
  
Oh?  
  
Jun grins. This is something Sho failed to tell him. Aside from occasionally being told what to do, before tonight’s meetup, Sho confessed that he has a thing for watching others. Jun has no idea what to do with that information but appreciates the honesty nonetheless.  
  
Yet it seems Sho left out that he also likes being complimented and thanked.  
  
“Does that make you happy?” Jun asks, working Sho’s cock again.  
  
Sho has his eyes welded shut, teeth clamping on his plump bottom lip.  
  
Jun moves his hand faster, one finger going in and out of Sho. “If I’m happy with you, it makes you happy?”  
  
There’s no response except for a quick nod and Sho flushing so red Jun wants to run his palms over his cheeks to feel how hot and embarrassed he is.  
  
“Don’t come till I say so,” Jun decrees. They negotiated this beforehand, but with Sho hanging on to the threads of coherent thought, Jun sees it fit to remind him once more. “Don’t come until you hear me tell you, and maybe that’ll make me happy.”  
  
He pinches the skin under Sho’s rib and Sho’s entire body twitches, pupils blown when they meet Jun’s.  
  
“Is that clear?” Jun punctuates it with a hard squeeze around Sho’s dick.  
  
Sho whines but nods, body quaking in its confines, but he doesn’t say omurice.  
  
Jun keeps stroking him and pinches the softest part of his arm, his sides, the skin of his neck. He twists a nipple in his fingers and Sho arches off the chair, gasping “pleasepleasepleaseplease” in succession, but Jun merely tilts his head.  
  
“No,” Jun says calmly, close to smiling when Sho sobs in frustration. “Not yet.”  
  
Jun gets both hands on Sho’s cock and jerks him off in sure strokes, not letting up even when Sho’s panicked eyes turn to him.  
  
“Hold it,” Jun orders, and Sho bites his bottom lip so hard he might tear the skin.  
  
Jun withdraws and leaves a heaving Sho alone for a while, squeezes more lube on his hands and warms it with his body heat.  
  
Sho’s actually doing good so far, but Jun wants to save the praise at least until the third orgasm. He cautiously works his way towards that, and Sho comes for the first time when Jun runs the studs of his ring over the head of Sho’s cock.  
  
Jun settles for observing, hands finding their place on Sho’s knees. Sho opens his eyes to face him, and he actually looks apologetic for coming without warning.  
  
The thought gets through Jun, but he doesn’t say it. To his advantage, his features don’t really give away anything save for impassiveness. Sho’s second orgasm has him hissing loudly through his teeth, hips lifting off the chair so high his wrists must be hurting from holding him down.  
  
Several seconds of nothing but Sho’s gasps, Jun begins to work him up again. This time, since Sho’s so sensitive, it only takes a dozen strokes to get him to the brink, but Jun has been saving this for the last orgasm.  
  
“I never gave you permission, did I?” he asks, wondering if Sho can hear him as Sho whines and gasps, attempts to twitch away from him. “This is for coming that first time—” Jun squeezes and Sho jerks, releasing all over his hands, “—and that second time—” Jun doesn’t stop, pinches the cockhead and savors the sound of Sho crying out, thrusting helplessly in Jun’s hands, ass lifted from the chair, “—and just now.”  
  
Jun pinches both nipples to get Sho’s attention, and with one hand he cups Sho’s face. “Unless I tell you, you don’t.”  
  
A whimper but Jun receives a nod, and he sits back, wonders how many times he can make Sho come tonight.  
  
Five seems to be Sho’s limit, and when Jun has untied him and cleaned him up, Jun leans over for a kiss. Without the camera rolling, Jun pours energy onto it and eventually whispers, “You did good,” in Sho’s ear, feeling Sho’s face grow warmer under his fingers.  
  
Sho says thank you when they’re about to leave, with Jun opening the door with one hand and his other arm looped around Sho’s waist, indulging himself with more kisses.  
  
Jun is back home and watching his recent video with Sho when it hits him, his hand freezing on his cock.  
  
He didn’t time this session.  
  
He pauses the video and checks the duration, eventually settles for cutting it halfway after he has come at least twice while watching it.  
  
He posts it after editing and doesn’t check his channels for notifications, rattled by his discovery.  
  
\--  
  
Toma is actually that kind of friend that acts like the devil on Jun’s shoulder. When Jun expresses his worries over not timing a session (without mentioning any name; Jun protects his partners’ privacies), Toma laughs it off.  
  
“That means you got into it,” Toma claims, clapping his back. “Isn’t that great?”  
  
Jun rolls his eyes. “I am into it, idiot.” He whacks the side of Toma’s head. “It’s why I do it in the first place.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, your big boner for control,” Toma says, chuckling once more. “I don’t see the problem. You didn’t time it, so what? Did a bomb go off? You’re overthinking it.”  
  
Jun seriously thinks he’s not. “These videos work when I control every aspect of it. The time, the camera angle, the arrangement.”  
  
“And the orgasms,” Toma adds unhelpfully.  
  
Jun wonders why he’s still talking to this guy. He can use better friends.  
  
“But seriously, what’s wrong with not timing it? Jun-kun, it’s your highest rated video so far. I’m tempted to ask who this guy is and if maybe he wants to star in a film with me, but I know you’d rather die than give out that kind of information.” Toma clinks their beer glasses together. “Seeing as this one makes you popular, I suggest you find out all the things this guy’s into and try them. Your channel is hot. You’re getting more and more subscribers, and I feel like a proud mother looking at how far you’ve come.” Toma laughs. “No pun intended.”  
  
Jun flicks him in the forehead. “He’s my only repeat session.”  
  
“So?” Toma sips his beer. “People like him. You like him too, or else you wouldn’t have agreed to do it a second time. What’s wrong with that?”  
  
Jun’s eyes widen, then he frowns. “I don’t like him.” He doesn’t know if he says it to convince himself or Toma.  
  
Toma scoffs, obviously not buying it. “You never posted a video of anyone you hated. The fact that this guy—and his dick, bless his dick, the people love what you did with it—has graced your channel twice means that you like him more than the rest.”  
  
“No,” Jun denies. “He’s the only one who contacted me again, that’s why there’s a second video.”  
  
Toma’s eyebrow raises, and he plasters this annoying smirk that Jun never wants to see again. “I was your first video. And not once did you agree to do it with me again, even when I asked it of you.”  
  
Jun never realized that. He stares at Toma, who’s smiling behind the rim of his glass. “I never knew if you were joking in any of those times,” Jun says defensively.  
  
“Me? Joking? When it comes to sex?” Toma looks offended. “I work in the industry. My job is to literally have sex on camera. I know how to project, how to flaunt what I’ve got thanks to the years I spent in this job. And despite that, you never took the bait.”  
  
“Well, do you want to shoot one now?” Jun asks, internally panicking at the truths Toma is calling out.  
  
He needs to do something.  
  
Toma laughs and waves his hand in dismissal. “I’m only 92% on your channel. If you’re thinking of another session, do it with this 96%, whoever he is. I’ve only seen his dick and whatever magic you did to it.”  
  
“I’m bothered by our increasing correspondence and you’re telling me to set up another meeting?” Jun can’t believe Toma’s logic sometimes. It’s like Toma’s throwing him under the bus with his knowledge.  
  
“All I’m saying is,” Toma begins, wrapping his arm around Jun’s shoulders, “two videos aren’t enough to be called a correspondence. Don’t exaggerate, you know it doesn’t work on me. But if you want to get to the bottom of things with 96, there’s no other way except to meet him again.”  
  
\--  
  
Toma is shit at giving advice, but Jun’s reasoning is shittier because he ends up following it, when the rest of his meetings with other people failed like Toma cursed it or something and he got so frustrated that Sho instantly received his yes.  
  
His sessions with Sho increase in frequency, experimenting what Sho’s into and testing his endurance. Jun resolves not to post anything with Sho until he has figured out what’s going on with him and if he’s truly just overthinking it like Toma said.  
  
When Jun opens the folder that contains all of his sessions with Sho, he notices that the video durations increase gradually, with the longest one being almost two hours. Jun watches that one without working a hand on his cock.  
  
But it doesn’t stop him from getting painfully hard once he hears Sho’s sharp intakes of breath and his pleas that fell on deaf ears. It’s the one that has Jun shoving his fingers into Sho’s mouth, asking him to get Jun wet because Jun wanted Sho’s saliva for lube.  
  
His erection goes away when he realizes that this particular video is so long because he forgot to turn it off until he has ushered Sho to a bath. Jun remembers making out with him before that bath, whispering praises in Sho’s ear since Sho’s learning how to hold it for longer periods of time.  
  
Which only proves Jun’s increasing association with him.  
  
Jun being unsettled eventually reaches that point wherein he emails Sho just to ask:  
  
_Why do you keep coming back to me?_  
  
He doesn’t expect a response because it’s not really his business why men come to him for this. But it’s been on his mind for a while. He gets no payment for what he does. No compensation except for the uncut videos that only he is privy to. He’s never had anyone who went back for more, save for Sho, and Jun wonders what’s in it for him.  
  
For Jun, he doesn’t truly know Sho. All he knows is that he likes seeing Sho so worked up, that he’s the one thing that’s keeping Sho away from that sublime orgasm, but Sho doesn’t allow himself to come because Jun told him not to.  
  
But then again, Jun likes it when men try harder because he asked them to. So what’s so special about this?  
  
Jun gets off to the idea of being in charge, but Sho’s the only person who actually let him be in charge the _entire_ time. Jun orders their food when they’re together, Sho always saying in the emails that it’s up to Jun. Even their makeout sessions are up to Jun. The moment Jun pulls away and asks Sho to do something else (like clean himself up or get the bath running), Sho moves to do that without question.  
  
His phone pings, and he’s left more confused than ever when Sho’s reply is _You know why._  
  
_No, I really don’t_ , Jun types. _So tell me. Is it because you’re monitoring the ones you were in and like the feedback?_  
  
Jun rereads Sho’s response and racks his brain for the exact time Sho dropped the keigo. He comes up with nothing, and they exchanged too many emails that Jun will take a while if he actually looks through each of them.  
  
Sho’s reply has Jun frowning at his phone, like it’s the cause of all his problems.  
  
_You never posted any of our videos, not after that second time. What’s to monitor?_  
  
Jun hasn’t posted a video since that 80% with the hunk that had Toma going, “Barely making it with that one, huh,” like it’s some sort of contest. He boots up his laptop and checks how many videos he has with Sho, startled by his discovery of eight. Eight aside from the other two he shared on his channel. Eight which have never been shared or edited, all for Jun’s eyes only.  
  
The truth hits him harder than he imagined. He’s not uploading Sho’s videos not because he wants to wait until he figures himself out.  
  
He doesn’t upload them because he _doesn’t_ want to share.  
  
That thought frightens him so much he actually picks up his phone to call Toma, asking him to come over. There must be something in his voice because Toma’s bored tone switches to concern, and Jun only has to wait for twenty minutes before his doorbell rings.  
  
Not yet finished with their first glass of wine and Jun already points an accusatory finger at Toma, blaming him for everything. Toma uncharacteristically listens to him ramble and get drunker, and hours later, when Jun’s so spent that he can only punch Toma’s bicep weakly, Toma finally sighs.  
  
“Maybe it’s time for you to get to know this guy aside from what makes him come.”  
  
Jun goes for another punch, harder this time. What he didn’t mention to Toma is that he does know things about Sho, aside from what turns Sho on.  
  
For one, Jun knows Sho finds nearly everything hilarious. Whenever they were done with the videos, sometimes they’d watch variety shows on TV together, and Sho would laugh at almost all the gags, no matter how dumb they were. Sho has the habit of scrunching his nose and pursing his lips when he has to think about what to say. Jun doesn’t know any of the personal stuff, but the mannerisms, the behavior, the things Sho is prone to saying—those, he knows and can predict sometimes.  
  
And that’s what scares him. He likes to be trusted, but only until his arrangement is concluded. After that, he owes them nothing. Sho’s trust extends beyond the videos, but not to the point he breaks Jun’s rules. Jun set these rules to separate his real life from his online profile, and it terrifies him that he’s beginning to break them.  
  
It’s like he’s willing to let Sho into his life outside TakeYouHigher.  
  
Out of frustration, Jun punches Toma’s arm again. Toma winces, but he ruffles Jun’s hair despite knowing it will annoy Jun.  
  
“What if,” Jun starts, his tongue loose and voice groggy, “what if he ends up judging what I do after finding out more about me?”  
  
Jun’s biggest fear isn’t exactly being found out. It’s the possibility of _not_ living up to the expectation. Anyone he has met as TakeYouHigher knew what they would get from him and it made the whole encounter predictable but nonetheless fulfilling.  
  
But the other side of him, the accountant who spends some nights with his suit jacket for his blanket in the office—that’s too ordinary. Plain. Uninteresting.  
  
Jun’s not sure he can open that door dividing the two sides of his life when the time comes. Doing so can put him out of control, leave himself bare.  
  
Toma’s eyebrows knit together. “Jun-kun, you don’t get paid for doing this and the people who come to you know that. They all know there’s another life behind the username. Besides, you already edged this guy at least twice on camera. And now you’re afraid he’s going to have something to say _about_ your office job? Are you for real? Why would he keep coming back to you if that’s how it’s going to be?”  
  
So it’s possible that’s not it and Jun’s off-track on account of being a paranoid drunkard. “Well, what if he doesn’t but people do anyway?”  
  
Toma sighs. “Nobody has seen his face or yours. Nobody can shit on whatever you decide to do with him or with anyone, really. I don’t know who he is, and I think none of your colleagues knows about your channel. But the thing is, if you’re afraid of judgment, how can that happen when technically nobody really knows who you both are?”  
  
“So you’re saying I have to hook up with him?” Jun asks, his head already swimming.  
  
Toma shrugs. “I’m saying, if you’re calling a friend just to whine about someone you ended up liking even after seeing his ugly orgasm face, there has to be something there.”  
  
Well, shit.  
  
“I hate you,” Jun complains petulantly.  
  
Toma laughs, but that’s all he does before moving to get Jun to bed.  
  
\--  
  
Because Jun rarely deals with his emotions and usually proceeds to ignore them, the next time Sho emails him, he sends it straight to the junk folder and sets up a session with someone else. He continues this for several months, and during the day, he lets his work consume him.  
  
Since Jun doesn’t want to unload any of his concerns to Toma, Ohno automatically becomes the substitute.  
  
Ohno has become his drinking buddy after Toma called the guy over when Jun had a yakiniku dinner after Toma’s supposedly tiring shoot.  
  
The great thing with Ohno is that he listens. You need someone to listen to you talk and talk without interruption? Ohno’s your guy. You need to lose steam? Still your guy.  
  
So when Jun’s done rambling about his growing concerns about Sho despite not meeting him or seeing him for months, he nurses his beer and sticks to silence.  
  
Ohno surprises him by asking, “He hasn’t emailed you?”  
  
“I set anything that comes from his email address straight to my junk folder.”  
  
“Why? Does he deserve it?”  
  
That question gets Jun thinking and feeling guilty. His grip on his beer tightens.  
  
Ohno hums knowingly. “Why are you doing this?”  
  
“Doing what?” Jun’s honestly confused. Does Ohno mean the edging? The channels? His tedious process of selection when someone remotely interests him?  
  
Ohno shakes his head. “You know. Running away.”  
  
Jun feels slapped. Ohno doesn’t say much, but when he talks, he shells out truths that make Jun feel like shit. “I don’t know.”  
  
“Is he an awful guy?”  
  
That, Jun can answer quickly. “No.” He remembers the first time he heard Sho laugh. It was in the shower, when Jun was sharing this joke he heard on TV and Sho found it so funny, he almost doubled over. “No, he’s not awful.”  
  
“Then what’s wrong with him?”  
  
Nothing. Nothing’s wrong with Sho, except Jun doesn’t really know him except for a name that might be fake, all the things that get him so hard he can’t think straight, and how he wormed his way in before Jun realized he did.  
  
“I don’t know him at all,” Jun admits.  
  
Ohno is quiet for a few moments. “Did he ever try to get to know you?”  
  
The answer to that is on Jun’s phone, so he accesses the junk folder of that particular email address and begins reading the ones he ignored for so long.  
  
Sho sent him three messages, each a month apart, but the last one is from a month ago.  
  
Jun starts at the bottom of the thread and reads in silence. The first was asking if Jun would like to meet up. The one after that clarified that Sho didn’t mean meeting up in a hotel to film something, but someplace nice where they could just hang out, have dinner or watch a movie together.  
  
Like a date, Jun’s mind tells him.  
  
The last one shocks Jun because it’s in keigo and it’s the longest one.  
  
_I never thought about what I’d say here since it’s been so long since you actually talked to me. But I simply wanted to thank you for your time in the past. I wish I could articulate exactly how much that time meant to me, but I’m not certain you’d get to read this.  
  
Anyway, I have nothing else to say except thank you. I wasn’t wrong in trusting you. I hope this finds you well, and though I never got to know your true name, I’m happy I gave you mine._  
  
Jun lifts his head and finds Ohno giving him a knowing look.  
  
“He did,” Jun replies quietly, staring back at his phone screen. “He tried.”  
  
“Is it too late?” Ohno asks.  
  
Jun has no idea, but he hopes it’s not. “I don’t know,” he says, but his fingers are already typing a response, hoping it will reach Sho. He sends it in under a minute and pockets his phone.  
  
Ohno doesn’t have anything to say anymore so they spend their time in companionable silence.  
  
\--  
  
The following morning, Jun receives a notification that the address he sent that email to no longer exists.  
  
He puts his channel on indefinite hiatus, but he leaves a parting video, the one with him dropping a kiss to Sho’s forehead as soon as they were done. The action itself is not seen on camera, but it’s the only time Jun allowed half of his body to be in the video since he had to lean forward in order to kiss Sho for doing a great job.  
  
He doesn’t edit that bit out and turns off all notifications from all communities he’s part of. He changes his password for the email address but doesn’t update it on his phone so he no longer gets email alerts.  
  
Once he’s done with that, he sends a text to Ohno that merely says, _It is._  
  
\--  
  
Three or four months after Jun’s failed attempt at reconnecting with Sho, Ohno invites him to go fishing, saying he’s found a new fishing buddy but they could always use one more.  
  
With work taking over most of Jun’s life, he refuses. But Ohno’s pretty relentless, saying that fresh salty air might do him good, and Jun supposes this is Ohno’s payback for the times they blew each other just so Jun could loosen up.  
  
It’s a Saturday evening when Jun finally makes it, and Ohno introduces him to a muscular boat captain named Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi salutes in acknowledgement and offers to take Jun past the coast if he ever feels like it.  
  
Jun keeps the offer in mind. “I brought beer,” he says instead, lifting the convenience store plastic. “Where should I put it?”  
  
Yamaguchi takes the beer from him and disappears inside the cabin to presumably put the beer in a fridge or a cooler.  
  
When Jun’s alone with Ohno who’s sorting lure, he asks, “Where’s your fishing buddy?”  
  
“Oh he’ll be a little late. But he wants to help me get that tuna. We both think this is the big night.”  
  
“If you already have someone to help you get that tuna, what do you need me for? I can’t fish.”  
  
Ohno just hums. “It might be a big tuna that we can’t reel in, so we need someone to step in.” Ohno reaches out to squeeze Jun’s bicep. “You keep working out but you never put it to use.”  
  
“Well, I am here to fish with you, right?”  
  
Ohno doesn’t say anything after that, but he also neglected to mention that Yamaguchi is the only crew aboard the boat. Jun rolls his eyes when he realizes this is part of the reason why Ohno invited him: Yamaguchi needs help to get this boat out to sea, and he can’t do everything by himself.  
  
“I can’t help him when I’m planning to capture that tuna,” Ohno reasons when Jun confronts him about it.  
  
Jun stalks away without another word. He helps Yamaguchi untie ropes and prepare for sailing, and soon Ohno taps on the window of the cabin separating them to tell them they can leave.  
  
“He’s here?” Yamaguchi asks, and Ohno nods.  
  
They’re out at sea by the time Jun finds the chance to slip away. Yamaguchi didn’t work him to death, but he’s really no sailor and had to rely on instructions to get things done.  
  
While Ohno is out there fixing his lures and rods. So much for fishing with Jun.  
  
Jun heads towards the bow of the boat when he hears laughter that makes him snort, because of course Ohno is having fun. He’s in his element. Ohno has filleted fish and made sashimi for Jun and Toma countless times, and while he’s happy with being complimented for his skills with a knife, it’s fishing that makes him the happiest.  
  
Jun freezes in his tracks when he hears the laugh again and finds it familiar, and he can only stare when he discovers that Ohno’s fishing buddy is none other than Sho.  
  
“Oh Jun,” Ohno says, waving him over. “Finally escaped from Gussan, huh?”  
  
Even if Jun wants to reply, he can’t, because Sho just turned his head and loses the smile on his face.  
  
“Jun?” Ohno asks, and Jun sees Sho’s mouth repeating his name. His real name this time and not Miyama or Goda or whatever he felt like giving Sho in the past.  
  
Ohno suddenly puts an arm around Sho, like he just remembered it’s common courtesy to introduce his friend. “Jun, this is Sho-kun.”  
  
“I know,” Jun says without thinking, not quite believing it.  
  
Ohno darts glances between them, then his confusion vanishes. When Ohno meets his eyes, Jun gives the briefest of head tilts in affirmation.  
  
“I’ll go see what Gussan is up to,” Ohno says, and Jun catches Sho grabbing Ohno’s wrist in alarm.  
  
Sho doesn’t want to be left alone with him. Of course. Why would he, after Jun ignored him for so many months? Had their positions been reversed, Jun would do the same.  
  
“I’ll just be in the deck,” Ohno says, smiling despite his statement not making much sense. “Don’t let our tuna escape.”  
  
Ohno leaves them after giving Jun’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. When Jun hears the door of the cabin shutting, he finds Sho facing the water, back turned to him.  
  
Jun approaches him in cautious steps, and when Sho doesn’t flinch despite their proximity, he takes it as a good sign and sits on that part of the bench previously occupied by Ohno.  
  
“Is that your real name?” Sho asks, startling Jun. He didn’t expect Sho to talk first.  
  
“Yes,” Jun answers. “Written like moisture.”  
  
Sho nods, but he doesn’t look at Jun, hands tightly grasping a fishing rod. Like he needs it to ground himself and to not tremble.  
  
Jun allows the silence to linger until he can’t take it anymore.  
  
“How have you been?” he asks. He can’t ask anything else; he doesn’t truly know Sho because he passed up the chance to do that back when Sho was willing.  
  
“Fishing,” Sho replies. “Still haven’t caught anything close to what Satoshi-kun ends up getting.”  
  
Sho’s response is curt and doesn’t give Jun anything. Jun hates it, but he knows it’s what he deserves. It’s amazing Sho is still talking to him. He tries to engage Sho in light conversation, but all his attempts at small talk come out stilted and awkward since Sho’s deflecting all of his questions.  
  
Jun wants to say so many things, but he doesn’t know where to start. How does he tell Sho he actually read those emails and drafted replies to each despite knowing they’ll get sent back to him? How does he tell Sho he visits the places where they met up in the past in hopes of finding Sho there? How is he supposed to inform Sho that he regrets never giving Sho his name because he never got to hear it past Sho’s lips?  
  
How will he say he missed Sho without looking too desperate for attention? That he’ll love to get Sho know better without his rules holding him back?  
  
He can’t. Words are never his strong suit, so when he runs out of questions and Sho appears to be not interested in asking anything back, he takes a hint. He stands to excuse himself, but before he goes, he does say what’s been eating him for months.  
  
“I’m sorry.” He makes sure he’s bowing a little and looking at his feet when he says it. “You didn’t deserve any of what I did. I’m sorry. But for what it’s worth, I’m still happy to see you, even if we can’t go back to how it was before.”  
  
He takes a step back and ignores the sting he’s feeling. Maybe he can stay on the other end of the boat until they return to land. He’ll give Sho all the space and will never join Ohno in another fishing trip. Ohno perhaps knows Sho’s full name, but Jun won’t ask, will extend him that courtesy.  
  
It’s all he can do.  
  
“Did you ever read them?” Sho asks before Jun spins on his heel to walk away. “Whatever I sent you back then?”  
  
“Every single one,” Jun admits. “I replied to them, but they kept getting sent back.” He doesn’t know how a laugh escapes from him. “Still didn’t stop me from trying though.”  
  
“Did you mean it? That you’re happy to see me?”  
  
Jun can’t deny it. “Yes.”  
  
“Why?” Sho turns to him, looking so puzzled. “Why would you feel that when you stopped answering my messages? I thought you never wanted to see me or hear from me again.”  
  
Of course that’s what he’d think. It’s all Jun’s fault. “That’s all on me,” Jun affirms. “I didn’t know how to deal with it.”  
  
“With what? With me?”  
  
He’s so off, but Jun decides not to cower anymore. “With...actually liking you. Despite not knowing who you really are except for what you told me. You were the only one who kept coming back. I got scared, so I ran away. Then you stopped, and it’s all on me, and I kind of wish I figured myself out sooner because maybe that could’ve spared us from all this.”  
  
Sho takes a deep breath and doesn’t look at him. “You could’ve told me, you know. That you needed time to get things sorted out. I would understand.”  
  
“I wasn’t so sure about opening up that much about me.”  
  
“So what makes now any different?”  
  
“I’m willing to try this time,” Jun says. To meet you halfway, he doesn’t add.  
  
“When it was clear to me that you had no intention of trying something out, I gave up. Tried to find something else to do.” Sho lifts the fishing rod in his hands. “Now that I finally have a free night, it turned out that Satoshi-kun’s friend is you.” Sho laughs, but there’s no hint of amusement in it.  
  
“I’m bad at this,” Jun admits. “But I meant everything I said. I want to try. If you’re okay with that. If you’ll allow me.”  
  
“You’re a terrible person, Miya—Jun-san,” Sho says, finally looking at him.  
  
Jun nods. “I know. I’m sorry.”  
  
“Terrible timing too.”  
  
Jun ignores the feeling of his chest constricting. “I’m sorry,” he says again, lowering his head.  
  
He hears Sho take a deep breath and braces himself for a proper rejection.  
  
“I’m Sakurai Sho. I’m thirty-four, and I met Satoshi-kun when I was shopping for my first lure. I’m still new to fishing so he calls me his disciple. I work as the head of the human resources department in Suntory, so I have a lot of free whiskey at home. I grew up in Minato and is the eldest of three children, and I—”  
  
“Whoa, wait.” Jun shuts him up by pressing a hand over Sho’s mouth. He sits beside Sho, closer this time. “Slow down,” he says, unable to keep himself from smiling. He withdraws his hand and studies Sho’s face. “I need time to digest that. You just dumped all this information on me like it’s a crash course about you and that’s not what I want. I prefer to find out about this over dinner, not in the middle of the sea where there’s no reception.”  
  
He takes the rod from Sho’s hands and puts it aside. “But the basics,” he begins, pointing to himself. “My name is Matsumoto Jun. I’m thirty-two, but I’ll be thirty-three soon. I’m an accountant. I met Ohno-san through my best friend—who’s a porn star—Toma, and before I met you, I recorded a session with Ohno-san. I’m on this boat because he duped me into becoming Yamaguchi-san’s lackey.”  
  
Sho frowns at that, glancing at the cabin. “He doesn’t know?”  
  
“Well, he does now, since he did give us this moment to talk. But prior to this, no. I never disclose any information about those I recorded a video with.” Jun bites his lip. “Except for Ohno-san earlier, because you know him already. But other than that, no. Not even Toma knows who you are, and he knows the brand of my perfume because he bought the same for himself.” Jun is still annoyed at that one.  
  
Sho clears his throat. “That’s...quite a lot.”  
  
“See why this is better when there’s dinner between us?”  
  
There’s a tiny smile on Sho’s lips, and Jun is hit with the gravity of how much he missed seeing it. “So you’re accepting? Dinner with me, despite being months late?”  
  
Jun recalls that particular email Sho sent him. “You did say you have a place in mind. What do they serve that I simply have to taste?”  
  
Sho grins, and he leans closer to whisper it to Jun’s ear. It’s the first time Jun hears him say it, and it makes him laugh.  
  
“Omurice.”  
  
\--  
  
Ohno ends up not catching his dream tuna that night, but that’s okay because Jun goes back home with Sho’s number saved on his phone. Just like their emails before, Jun sets the date.  
  
He finds out more about Sho as their dates increase in number, including the reason why Sho kept coming back to him. At first, it was all about handing Jun the reins since Sho’s job entailed him to be in charge most of the time.  
  
But in time, Sho also developed this desire to see Jun, to get to know him better.  
  
Sho, much to Jun’s delight, happens to share his hate for coriander, so any place that has that is immediately crossed out of their list. Sho discovers more about him in equal measure, learns about Jun’s personal rules and how those held him back, and that Jun’s looking for a better camera with higher megapixels.  
  
“What for?” Sho asks, after they had so many dates that it was inevitable they’d end up in Jun’s place with Sho strapped to a chair. There’s no camera this time, but they both pretend there is.  
  
“For clearer resolution, what else?” Jun has reopened his account in the communities because of Sho’s insistence, claiming he ran out of porn to watch because Jun had stopped uploading.  
  
It’s a big lie (because Jun has seen Sho’s porn collection and even found the one Sho supposedly lost after Ohno had lent it to him), but it does get Jun to accept requests again. With Sho making suggestions on what will make Jun’s videos better, Jun sometimes allows Sho to accompany him for his sessions, if his partner for that time is cool with it. Sho doesn’t participate in any way, save for giving Jun reminders about lighting and angles.  
  
Sho likes to watch _and_ be watched, so Jun gives him that experience whenever he can. They watch Jun’s uncut videos sometimes and masturbate to it together, but Jun, during such events, muffles his groans against Sho’s mouth as he comes.  
  
Jun’s channel continues to gain more subscribers especially after his celebrated return, and with Sho helping him pick out his partners, Jun’s videos never went under 85% again.  
  
But right now, when it’s just the two of them and the camera is set aside for future use, Jun allows himself to kiss Sho as much as he wants, though Sho’s tied up and can’t move much except for kissing Jun back. He touches Sho all over and lingers as much as he likes, his rules no longer applicable since this is Sho and Jun is not doing this with him out of desires to produce a video and gain favorability.  
  
“You still haven’t uploaded the rest of the ones that have me,” Sho complains with a pout.  
  
Jun settles back on his seat, quirking an eyebrow as he puts on Sho’s favorite cock ring since Sho’s fully erect. “Don’t tell me Toma’s competitiveness is rubbing off you now.”  
  
Toma, when he had met Sho, embarrassed Jun by telling Sho about that time Jun was bothered by him not timing their video. Sho kept teasing him about it when they were alone, so Jun had to shut him up by fucking the smirk off his face. They ended up filming that one, but it joined Jun’s precious folder of unshared gems.  
  
Sho looks away. “Your new video with Nino is at 99%.”  
  
Jun laughs. After things have settled with Sho and they already know their way around each other, Nino and Aiba contacted him again. Sho met Nino because Nino confessed he sometimes liked being watched, like he had to put on a performance.  
  
Aiba didn’t meet Sho, and his video with Jun is still being processed by the video editor software. Jun thinks it will give him his first 100%.  
  
Jun lubes his hands and starts stroking Sho, transforming Sho’s scowl to pleasure in moments.  
  
“Will you ever upload those other videos with me?” Sho asks through clenched teeth.  
  
Jun hums, thumbs at the tip of Sho’s cock as he considers it. “No,” he decides. “Those are all for me.”  
  
Sho moans his name and Jun wants to hear it again so he brings his hand back and goes faster. Sho manages to say, “You’re standing in the way of my promising career. Toma said my dick looks good on camera.”  
  
On most days, Jun still can’t believe he has someone who accepts what he does, but perhaps he should have known. Sho likes seeing him happy. And he is, now more than ever, and it’s all thanks to Sho, who welcomed all sides of him with a smile on his face. Jun expresses his gratitude in the best way he knows: by meeting Sho halfway and giving him what he needs.  
  
Jun tickles Sho’s balls, smirking when Sho huffs out his name. Sho just returned from a two-week business trip, which means he hasn’t come for a while, hence Jun’s excitement for tonight.  
  
When Sho meets his eyes, Jun halts momentarily.  
  
Jun punctuates his next statement with a playful bite on the inside of Sho’s thigh, Sho jolting in surprise.  
  
“And that’s why I don’t like to share.”

**Author's Note:**

> sugar and salt also served as inspo for the Sho in here, just because of the lines "I'll always go to see you // Wondering what you are doing, I look up at the sky again // Although, I get impatient when there's no answer from it" (translation from [here](http://yarukizero.livejournal.com/158670.html)).
> 
> Alternate fic titles: Edger of Tomorrow, The Edger of Glory


End file.
